| Sexism at UCF |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|09:41 pm] |
I complained about the shuttle sexism recently, and UCF's newspaper featured an article on it (not my complaining, personally) on Monday, September 18th. Enjoy it; it speaks for itself!
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| Kinsey (2004) |
[Aug. 26th, 2006|11:22 pm] |
I watched half of the movie in my Human Sexuality class, and the other half in my apartment while Radix was over. It came on at like midnight, and I didn't mind watching it again. It was a really good movie.
However, it's inspired a rant. If you wanna read on, do so at your own risk.
First of all, I'm sympathetic, if not just a tad annoyed, by the level of discomfort that sexuality brings to the average college student. There were funny parts to the movie, yes, but every scene that depicted any remotely sexual implication caused my classmates to laugh and make jokes. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I felt pleased with myself that I was above laughing along with them throughout most of the movie.
For those of you who don't know, Alfred Kinsey was a very liberal bisexual. In the movie, he had sex with one of his male assistants, and he is rumored, according to Wikipedia, to have had group sex with his graduate students. Though he violated probably more ethics than any psychology researcher in history, right next to Watson and Rayner, the benefits of his research, in my opinion, far outweighed the issues raised by being a teacher who has sex with students even though he's married.
The point of mentioning all of this is to express my annoyance with the protest to the homosexuality in the movie. I remember hearing people yell "No, don't!" at the projector when the assistant was moving to kiss Kinsey. Admittedly, I felt a little uncomfortable myself, but I am almost certain that the discomfort resulted directly from the irrational protest the other students gave.
On a somewhat related note, I have a bus driver that requires males to give up their seats to females if there aren't enough seats on the bus and someone has to stand. I can almost guarantee that if I am forced to stand for a lady, that I won't do it graciously. Why should I? The motivation behind morality and feminism today is supposed to be equality, not taking things away from college students who are trying to get home and who arrived at the bus responsibly and on time. Women are equally capable of standing, and no idiotic ideals of chivalry or some pathetic hope for intercourse should blind an intelligent person of that fact.
That does not mean, however, that people should forego doing nice things for each other. Men can give up their seats for women, if they want to, but any woman that feels more entitled to sit than a man is more of a bigot than the man who denies the woman a seat. I would love it if I saw a woman get up to let a man sit down. Until then, I refuse to believe that there is truly any perception of "equality" among men and women, even if on such a subtle issue. |
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| How to Win a Fight |
[Sep. 9th, 2005|03:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Grandia 2 - Raul Hills | ] |
Fighting sucks, but it's inevitable sometimes. Being so resourceful, I've highlighted my textbook about Human Sexuality that discusses how to have constructive fights--the kind that involves winners. As the textbook mentions, destructive fights have no winners because the "losing" individual feels resentment towards the winner. The goal of a winning fight, called a "Bonding Fight," is to increase rather than decrease self-esteem.
There are 9 steps total.
- Leveling
: Be candid, transparent, authentic, explicit "concerning the more conflictive or hurtful aspects" of a relationship (Bach and Wyden 1970, p.368). Friends sometimes assume that they're understood by other friends, and neither knows the other has a problem.
- Use I-Statements to Avoid Attacks
: I-statements are perceived as an attempt to communicate feelings, you-statements are often seen as an attack and will be responded with in kind. "It is impossible to make an 'I-statement' when you are in a 'hating-my-partner, wanting revenge, feeling-stung-and-needing-to-sting-back' state of mind" (John Gottman). Beginning a fight with I-statements prevents emotions to escalate to such an extreme level.
- Avoid Mixed/Double Messages
: When you say something that conveys two contradictory meanings and ultimately create distance, pain, and confusion. The Silent Treatment is an example: If you piss someone off, and you ask them what's wrong, they respond "Nothing" in the coldest, harshest way possible. This SHOWS that something's wrong and allows the sender of such a message to deny and acknowledge the problem at the same time. Other examples of mixed messages including "making a partner the butt of jokes, using subtle innuendos rather than direct communication, and being sarcastic."
- Choose Time and Place Carefully
: Pick a time to fight. This gives you and the other person a chance to prepare and approach the situation calmly.
- Focus on the Argument
: If your friend hurts you by accusing you of not taking out the garbage, don't call them a slut. Have suggestions for change so the person you complain to can "feel that they can do something specific to help resolve the problem raised." "If you learn to approach each other with aceptance and empathy, you can create a collaborative context, and often people will make spontaneous changes" ("Loving Your Partner" 2000).
- Ask for Specific Change, Compromise
: Tell them what you want to change and be willing to compromise. Ultimatums are not a negotiation; they're an attack.
- Be Willing to Change Yourself
: Refusal to change is refusal to be in an intimate relationship. Change should be part of compromise, too; don't be willing to change dramatically if they aren't willing to change at all.
- Don't Try to Win
: "Tactics associated with winning in a particular conflict are also those associated with lower marital satisfaction." "Losing lessens a person's self-esteem and increases resentment and strain on the relationship."
- End the Fight When it's Over
: Don't end the fight abruptly before the other person gets a chance to talk. It should end when all feelings are communicated and worked out. If the other person can't talk about it, don't force them.
[Most of the information came from Marriages and Familiies: Making Choices in a Diverse Society (Eight Edition) by Mary Ann Lamanna and Agnes Riedmann. I basically took the 9 steps right out of the book and paraphrased most of it. Any quotes without parenthetical documentation came from the book.]
From a spiritual perspective, fighting is like a competition for energy. People resign themselves to their side of the argument and defend it tooth and nail to avoid the loss in self-esteem--especially people beginning a fight with low self-esteem. For more information on that, read The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.
By being understanding and supportive during the conflict, while accepting the other person's flaws as well as your own, fights will go a lot more smoothly. It's not easy, and I certainly am not an example of this ideal, but it's possible and very helpful. Just remember that, whoever you fight with (doesn't have to be a spouse like the book mentions), you care for this person and you want to keep caring for them after the problem is resolved. |
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| Attracted to plastic |
[Sep. 4th, 2005|03:57 pm] |
"Those breasts aren't even real!"
This is a stupid argument. Women are blaming men for being attracted to fake breasts as if there's something wrong with it. Men can't help what they're attracted to (ask a gay guy), so why should they feel shame in feeling sexually arroused by firmer, rounder breasts that only exist with the help of plastic surgery? Same thing goes for women and penis size. Size does matter to some people.
Furthermore, what does complaining about it do? "Shame on you! You should be attracted to real breasts!" Why? Because that gives women who don't have surgery for financial/moral reasons the ability to feel better about themselves for not needing surgery. It's the same way with men.
You know who you should blame? God. According to 80% of the US population, God made us. He made some of us attracted to fake body parts. He made some of us blind, some of us with allergies, some of us bitter, resentful, and jealous towards others who receive more attention.
That's what this is all about. We see someone getting more attention than we do for anything, and we find ways to take that away. "Sue is such a good guitarist!" "Yeah, but I heard she's a slut. [You should pay attention to me, because I'm not a slut--just a jealous bitch who can't play guitar.]" "She's pretty.. I bet she doesn't go to church."
And this seems to be human nature, by which I mean that I'm not targetting anyone special with this particular rant. Some of us are so desperate for attention that we sabotage others' attention. It's almost like we're feeding on the attention of others in the same way that we feed off of money, only there's no laws to regulate that type of stealing. |
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| It was the hand of God! |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|10:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bitter | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Koji Kondo - 03 Hyrule Field | ] |
Two years ago, I attended the Rosh Hashana service at a Messianic Jewish Synagogue (Jews for Jesus). It was during the month of September, around a week or two after school started, and everyone had just recovered from the panic of the possibility of some hurricane bearing down upon us. Rather than curve inland and crash right into Florida, an upper ridge urged the hurricane towards Missisippi and Louisiana--away from where we were at the time.
"It was nothing but the hand of God." she reassured us. I remember smirking to myself after she said it, too. Not because of the logical problem, but because that's what I would have expected someone in her position to assert.
Today, the United States is dealing with the impact of hurricane Katrina upon the gulf coast. We were spared again where I live, but at an extreme cost. Had the storm curved upwards after coming into contact with Florida as a Category 1, like meteorologists predicted, it would have weakened and died over the Florida peninsula. Instead, it crossed the southern tip of Florida, strengthened to a Category 5 storm, and crashed into New Orleans as what sensationalist meteorologists termed a "disaster" and a "catastrophe." Maybe they were right.
The point behind this recollection of mine is that, should the hand of God been involved in moving hurricanes, the hand of God that spared the majority of Florida from the hurricane's wrath also pushed the hurricane into New Orleans at nearly maximum strength. This is not to say that God is uncompassionate, if he even exists, etc, but that God's will is apparent even in bad things that happen. When you stub your toe on the table and it hurts, and you say "Why me?," it's because your table is too close to where people walk, or you're too tired to concentrate, or something along those lines--not because God is picking on you.
Even the storm victims had the option of evacuating and seeking safe shelter, and most of them did. If anyone dies, they'll likely be quick to blame God for producing the storm--and he'll take responsibility. They'll be on their knees, crying over their bad luck, blaming everyone but themselves for living in the path of the hurricane. And we're supposed to sympathize with them? Bad things happen to everyone. Having something taken away, like your television set, can be the worst thing in the world when it happens--just as bad as being in a lethal hurricane. If we expect these things to be taken away, it won't be as devastating when it happens. |
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| Obesity and You |
[Aug. 13th, 2005|02:52 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Marvel vs Street Fighter - Sakura | ] |
How many people can you name who have never considered their weight and, by extension, their physical appearance a matter of importance? How many people have tried to do something about their weight in a difficult struggle against their eating habits and exercise only to fail or only temporarily succeed?
I don't mean to scare you, but the obesity problem in our country isn't just something that your asshole gym teacher and nutrition specialist cooked up to get you to stop being fat. That's how I used to look at it. I was obese ever since I was five years old, and any time I ever went to the doctor's office, school nurse's office, playground, or home, I was reminded of just how terrible it was to be me. My mother tried constantly to get me to go on diets, and I would agree for a little while, but then I would go back into old habits--for whatever reason that might be. I never felt adequate enough to be accepted by other children on more than a superficial basis with the exception of my closest friends. In order to compensate for the love that I wasn't receiving in the form of self-acceptance and peer-acceptance, I did whatever it took to get attention--whether or not that included self embarrassment or backstabbing just so that I could receive more attention.
This was all because looks don't matter.
But I'm not going to discuss my current emotional state or my current psychological issues right now. I'm going to complain about the things that I feel caused me to become so overweight and perpetuate my obesity and lack of self satisfaction.
I was watching television the other day, and I took note of a commercial for Fruit Roll-ups or Fruit by the Foot. Their slogan, by the way, is "The fun goes on and on," and I'll address momentarily why that's so critical to this rant. The child unravels his sugary and, from a nutritional perspective, useless snack and starts swinging it in circles with his arm in front of a dog. The dog, wanting the treat, evidently, begins jumping up and down in pursuit of the treat. Then, a second dog appears, and the boy rips the snack in half along a pre-cut, wavy divide along the roll-up, holds one half in each hand, and repeats the process to make both dogs jump in the same fashion. As the commercial closes, the boy smiles and takes a bite of the snack, clearly satisfied with himself, while the announcer says something to the effect of "Now it's twice the fun."
Last time I ate a fruit roll-up, there were no dogs. Like the boy, I was by myself, and I took it from my aunt's cupboard, ran to a private room, and ate the thing as quickly as I could in secrecy while knowing that it was terribly wrong the whole time. Have you ever done that? Like sneak a few spoonfuls of ice cream, take a piece of cake to the corner and hope that nobody catches you eating it? Sure, they won't do anything about it, but when they see you, they're going to think "Oh, he's eating again." That's how I always felt. I don't know how I reasoned with myself that what I was doing was making me feel better, though. Maybe it was because my family, society, everyone didn't want me to eat, but I did it to get back at them. They didn't understand why I ate. I don't think I did, either, but eating made me feel better for whatever reason.
Growing up, I took a pleasure out of eating that I shouldn't have. I considered it fun, and I considered it a relief of stress when it wasn't. Food is nothing more than energy and nutrients that my body needs, but even now, any time I'm stressed out, discouraged, or upset, I'll think about eating something that's really enjoyable to me.
What's my point? Advertisers are perpetuating this disgusting equation of food = fun. Here's a few more examples that I found:
Pringles: "Once you pop, the fun don't stop."
Philadelphia: "A little taste of heaven."
Coca-Cola (1979): "Have a Coke and a Smile"
Mc-Donald's: "Have you had your break today?", "I'm lovin' it."
Jell-O: ""There's always room for J-E-L-L-O"
Rolo: "Do you love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo"
Wrigley's Doublemint Chewing Gum: "Double your pleasure, double your fun"
Kit-Kat Bars: "Give me a break!, Give me a break!, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar!"
Snickers: "Snickers satisfies"
Klondike Bar: "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
Pizza Hut: "Gather 'round the good stuff."
Lays Potato Chips: "Lays; Put your smile on"
What's even more disturbing is how many of these that I recognized and could even sing the jingle to from the commercials. Commercials like these show people miserable until they eat. It sucks being hungry, so eating is a relief of stress, yes, but if you're getting yelled at by your boss, that's no excuse to eat your problems away--even if it works. You can just as easily take a walk, meditate for a short while, listen to some nice music, call one of your friends--do ANYTHING but eat and destroy yourself with the garbage that these corporations are marketing. Don't think that they're not planning this psychologically manipulative propaganda, either, and don't think that they feel any remorse that it's working and that it shows.
http://www.naaso.org/statistics/
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm
http://www.annecollins.com/obesity/statistics-obesity.htm
http://www.obesityhelp.com/main-info-statistics.php
http://www.winltdusa.com/about/infocenter/healthnews/articles/obesestats.htm
Food is not fun. What's fun is being with people you love, succeeding at your difficulties (in school, work, or otherwise), and leading a healthy lifestyle (to the best of your ability, anyway) so that you can enjoy these things for years and years to come. Don't let any corporation advertising that's been drilled into your minds try to convince you of anything else. |
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| Gay Marriage |
[Mar. 5th, 2005|10:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | [Sailormoon S Game] 15 - Pluto's Theme | ] |
Since I like to write my opinion on things...
Gay marriage. Yay or boo. Whatever you'd like to say, but I have quite a mouthful in favor of it and against the Christian mindset of it being "wrong."
Let's start with the separation of church and state. Nowhere in the constitution or any of the "founding" documents within our political system is the separation of church and state actually established. It's actually in a court judgment and makes sense, especially if we want to grant freedom of religion to the citizens of our nation. We can't impose religions and still declare our nation to be free, can we? Certainly it would impose religion to include it within our government. With it firmly established why we've separated church and state, let's move forward.
Why can't homosexuals be married under the legal definition of marriage? Please understand that I said LEGAL definition of marriage rather than the religious significance, because these are two distinct and very different concepts. Spiritual marriage grants us unity with God in some religions, or at least a spiritual fulfillment, and legal marriage is what allows us inheritance of our spouse's property upon death, joint ownership of property, and other such things. God didn't discuss alimony and spousal support in the bible the way that it is enforced in the United States today.
I once entered a Christian chat room with this very question. The only response that I was unable to logically argue at the time was that Christians find it their duty to create laws that enforce their existing code of morals. They wouldn't support a law that angered God, and that's completely understandable.
But wait a minute. Don't Christians "turn the other cheek" with matters concerning infidelity? Surely if a man cheats on his wife or vice versa this would upset God, yet there is no law that punishes such an offense. Why haven't Christians vehemently protested against this lack of law, and why are they so strongly opposing the sinfulness of gay marriage when it doesn't even concern them?
And no, it doesn't concern them, because their churches are COMPLETELY free to deny homosexuals marriage within their walls. This is the denial of the religious marriage we mentioned earlier. Christians voting against gay marriage are failing to make the distinction between separation of church and state and are not being at all fair to homosexuals who wish to take advantage of the concept of legal marriage, something entirely different and entirely outside of the church's jurisdiction in a democratic society.
I do, however, accept one possible problem that may arise: what causes homosexuality in the first place? If homosexuality is a result of psychological malfunction within a human being, should we allow homosexuals to marry, or should we force them to seek psychological help? If this WERE the case, which it most likely isn't, we wouldn't be denying ANYBODY the right to marry as long as they committed to heterosexuality. In fact, that's what we're doing now. Maybe we have the mindset that homosexuality has a negative underlying cause and that it's not natural, even though it's existed since at least the times of the Grecoroman culture.
So like.. comment. ^^ |
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| Proof in a miracle |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|05:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Earthbound - Threed | ] |
"Because of the things that I've seen and the people that have been helped by Jesus Christ, I am a Christian."
This statement bothers me, and I'm going to spend the remainder of most of this entry explaining why. Therefore, please read at your own risk.
I could care less which religion you choose to follow as long as you choose according to my standards. This statement does not suit them and, while I don't know exactly what my standards are and what religions I could ultimately find acceptable (since even though I'm open-minded I like to stay somewhat reasonable about these things), I can definitely explain what's wrong with this phrase. I don't intend to use formal logic to do so, either, as the connection is fairly simple.
How do you know? If there's a force powerful enough to work these "miracles" in this universe and whatever else comprises our existence, how do you know that it's the "God" mentioned in the bible or the "Jesus" used every day here in the intellectually choked bible belt in which I reside? Why is it that, should there be any divine entity or entities, that Christianity is the only path to their love, to their power, and to eternal salvation with them? If this divinity is as loving and benevolent as most people would like to claim, why would it care what you called it, be it "Jesus," "Allah," or "Yahweh?"
I'm reminded of my college professor who told me that such had influenced his decision to be a Christian. His concept of logic is flawed. He is willing to deny possibilities due to "logic" and accept others when the circumstances are nearly identical. It's almost as if he's brainwashed or something. Sure, the "ultimate reality" cannot have more than a few possibilities which are mutually exclusive when concerning the existence of God, but the many biblical contradictions only SEEM to be contradictions because God didn't tell us the whole truth yet.
So please, feel free to be a Christian, just don't base it on the existence of miracles. Furthermore, don't base it on what anyone else tells you to do or what anyone else threatens upon you such as eternal damnation. Do it because you truly believe and not because you've fallen victim to a fallacy of logic.
And if you're reading this, please comment, even if you have to yell at me for being a stupid heathen. |
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| Activism mode: Pedophilia! |
[Aug. 29th, 2004|08:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
This is why a lot of people hate me.
I'm a little torn on the subject of pedophilia. On one hand, you have the people who exploit children for their own perverse pleasures, and on the other, you have a human being. I'm thinking in particular of one of my close friends when becoming just a little irritated about the topic, but here's how I feel:
Anyone with a sexual attraction towards children is not responsible for that sexual attraction. Homosexuals are not responsible for their attractions, nor are heterosexuals or anyone else with any sexual desires whatsoever. These occur naturally and regardless of our own preference to the issue, and at some point, these feelings are sort of a discovery. This discovery can come as early as our childhoods or as late as our 40's, but once they come, we understand who we are rather than what sorts of crimes we've committed.
So what does this have to do with pedophiles? I don't think pedophiles are the scum of the Earth that everybody makes them out to be (granted I'm using the term to mean someone with an attraction towards children that they didn't decide). If they are, then you yourself are scum as well as everyone you know, because you're human and you will some day feel sexual attractions have you not begun to do so already.
Who are these "scums of the Earth?" That's up to you to decide. My purpose in writing this was to distinguish between someone who says "Oh my God, I'm attracted towards children and I need to get help because this isn't right!" and those who say "Well, I could care less about little Billy's future; I just want a quick 10 seconds of pleasure." Just be aware of your hypocrisy when you deem someone to be less of a human being than you are.
Anyway, nothing's happening in my life and I needed to vent in this unstructured complaint. I hope not hating the same people you hate doesn't cause you to hate me. =) |
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| Lali-ho! |
[Nov. 15th, 2003|12:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Two Mix - Winter Planet No1 | ] |
My dog never shuts up.. he barks at anything he sees, and spends HOURS crying because my dad is somewhere else in the house that he can't see.. I have a headache just from the sound of it and I have no idea how to get him to stop.. the best solution I have come up with is to just put on my headphones and listen to loud music, and write in my journal and spill all of my thoughts down..
I made a persuasive speech on Thursday on Florida's Gay Adoption ban, and why I was against it.. From an objective point of view, it was a good speech, and I was unable to see any flaws with any of my arguments that I spent hours upon hours developing and precisely wording.. I had the chance to make the speech on Tuesday but I didn't want to (it meant going second out of the entire class), so instead on Thursday, which was the very last day to make these, I went and was the very last to go. Of course, the sweet old man teacher who has a heart of soft gold is letting the speakers finish up on Tuesday, but I was scared he wouldn't.. He gives us four days of class time to speak, and if not in those four days we finish then theoretically everyone who doesn't go gets a 0. But he compromised this rule because he cares for us so much..
For anyone that I know reading this journal, I have to plead with you about something. If something is wrong and you want my help, please don't just ignore me.. if I can tell something's wrong and I offer to help you, don't lie and say nothing's wrong, and make me feel like crap because you're hurting and I can't even get close to you to show you that even if I can't solve your problems for you I still love you.. if I've hurt you, I can guarantee it was not something intentional, so don't tell me you're angry with me and ignore me and hurt me more than you'll ever know, not if you care the slightest bit about me.. don't ignore me period.. The worst problem I have had is people just without a word getting up and leaving me. My mother did it when she died, and this isn't her fault, it just hurts when this happens to me.. someone else did it to me when I gave them the most unique love I know of, and friends have done it because they don't want to talk to me anymore.. I just want people to be honest with me.. I don't want them ignoring me or leaving me.. if you have to tell me that I annoy you, I'll be a little upset, but that'll heal because I'll know you're fine, and I won't have scars for life wondering why my friend can tell me they love me one day and the next leave me forever.
Every individual person's life has their own path, predestined or not.. I'm looking for the person(s) with whom my path is intertwined.. I want it to be everybody I meet.. I want to take them all and put them in a mansion in which there's no pain, in which I can see them any time I want and love them and have them be okay, instead of having them leave and get hurt, get lost, never speak to me again.. it is hard to accept the fact that no matter how much I love somebody bad things are going to happen to them.. that I am powerless to fate..
...And I want people to hug me more IRL! Not that any IRL friends of mine know of this journal, which is really a good thing.. but I don't identify myself anyway, nor do I identify most of if any of the people I refer to.. I'm like some kind of secret agent who's mission is to live =P |
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